Going Gray - A Hero's Journey

​I announced I was going gray 15 months ago.  Woman have to announce such things as people will become concerned that we have abandoned all self care if our roots become too long.

So, this was me - 15 months ago on the day I announced I was going to just let my hair go gray.
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By this time my home had been chemical free for years - I make most of my cleaning supplies yet I was still coloring my hair, religiously, every 3-5 weeks.

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​I didn't go in for just touch ups - I went in to go from black to gunmetal gray or to color the underneath layers a bright color such as pink / blue / green, etc.

I loved changing my looks, I loved how it made me feel, I loved people's compliments & reactions. I always loved how a new look could make me feel fresh and new when perhaps things weren't going so well and I didn't much like certain aspects of my life, at the time.  Color is like the "Break Up Hair Cut" only not as hard to grow out.

That said, I was having a really hard time reconciling how uncomfortable I was using chemicals in my home but I was still slathering them all over my scalp / hair.  It just seemed like I should be more concerned with what I put on and in my body than what I used to cleaned a toilet.

I made the decision after thinking about it for a bit so I texted my hair stylist Jenna and we came up with a plan!

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Once we had a plan, I shared my plans on a few social sites and with people at work. I found people were very divided on the topic.
Here are some of my favorite comments / concerns:

• "You're so incredibly brave" ...

That's right - it's me and first responders in terms of bravery - they save lives and then there's me; a woman brave enough to look her age which I guess for a woman can be heroic.  But why is it brave for a woman to look her age?  It may have something to do with the following comments I received:

• "You're going to look like you're in your 40's" 

​I am in my 40's ... I'm not a zygote ... what else should I look like?  Maybe they were worried I was letting out a massive female secret.  Like someone would see me and then slowly glance over to their partner in a moment of realization that maybe she looks like that too?  Am I divulging something that women don't want men to know about? 

• "Aren't you worried no one will find you attractive" 

​GFYS - No - why would that even cross my mind?  I don't think a man has every looked at me and thought "if only her hair was a little darker, she'd be okay"

• "Oh I would absolutely LOVE to do this but my husband would be repulsed"

Of note: the woman who said this is drop dead gorgeous with a husband that looks like a troll and has ear hair that can be french braided but HE'D be repulsed.  Okay, that's reasonable.

• "I have a job interview coming up so it's just not a good time to look like that"

Are you interviewing to be a teen hair model?  Because if not - your hair color has NOTHING to do with your ability to kick ass in the work force. Though it's interesting - I had an interview 6 months into my grow-out and it never occurred to me to be worried about my hair.  I remembered thinking I looked especially great that day. I got the job and still look cute as a little button each and every day except that one day I wore a ponytail and a coworker hated it. 

Few concerns aside, I found most everyone to be super supportive.  Strangers stop to tell me how much they love it.  A few days ago a guy stopped me in a stairwell to tell me how great my hair looked - he thought I colored it!  On the way to Boston a woman at Starbucks ask how long I had been growing it out and I could see her working those numbers in her mind so perhaps I'll bump into her in 15 months and we'll be twins!

I do get a good bit of "I'd love to do that, but ... " and I always ask why there's hesitation.  If you love it - do it.   Many just say that they can't ... maybe they are worried about not being found attractive or maybe they don't want their gross troll husbands to be repulsed?
Girl, Go Gray If YOU Want.

Anyways - here I am as of today - I was standing in a bathroom with the harshest light ever and I looked in the mirror and I had a moment where I realized just how much I love my hair. 

​I love it.  I love the way I look, I love how gorgeous the silver and white bits are.  I love how it all blends together and looks as though I have strands of Christmas tinsel woven into my hair.


​Best Decision Ever ... AND ... I have saved nearly $4000.00(WHAT?)
Transition Tips:

• Come up with a transition plan with your stylist.  I texted Jenna and told her what I was thinking.  At the time, my hair was recently dyed black.  I had been coloring my hair since I was 16 and had no idea how much gray there'd be. 
• You have 3 main routes:

1. Cut your hair short and just go from there.  Get rid of your color and just let it grow out.  We decided against this one as I had just grown out a pixie cut with a shaved side.  I didn't want to do that again but I did consider this option seriously.  Jenna and I talked about this and decided this would be our last option.
2. Just stop coloring your hair.  This was actually my initial route but I had a really harsh line of demarcation between what was coming in and the dyed section.  I wasn't thrilled with the thought of looking at that for 15-24 months.  
3. Have your stylist remove the color from your hair. I believe we used a Prana color remover (corrector) that can be used up to 3 times without damaging your hair.  Whatever color it can get out is where you land basically.  Between each application, Jenna used a deep  cleanser to open the hair shaft a bit to maximize the efficiency of the color remover. We then used a gray toner to remove any yellow tones in my hair.  This will not work if you have box-dye on your hair.  So if you have color on your hair that came from a box this option is unfortunately off the table for you.  I absolutely loved it.  In fact the photo at the top of this post is the result of that appointment.  

• The longer your grow out becomes, the more edges you can remove.  During my last appointment (August) we cut about 4 inches off.  At this point, my hair is entirely natural with out any remaining color or odd ends. Because my hair is so healthy and my layers are growing out so well, I actually haven't needed to go back since that cut.
• If you're in Denver / Boulder - call Jenna at Boulder Beauty Bar.  Please tell her I miss her.
• Use purple shampoo and conditioner.  If you are worried about your gray looking dull - there are many shampoos made for gray hair that makes it super shiny and neutralizes any yellow tones.  I actually haven't used one in a long while mostly because I ran out and have been too lazy to order more.  I also haven't noticed a dullness or lack of shine. But I have tried many and found two that I really like: 

Clairol Shimmer Lights 
Viral Gray or Light Blue 

That's it!  I hope if you're considering making the leap - this helped a bit.  I'd love to hear of your progress!!

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