... of a creative drought ...
Actually that's not entirely true - it was more along the lines of being creatively silent. I have continued to post oodles of photos on my Instagram account and have had more ideas and topics to share but I became overly self-conscious about presenting my most authentic self.
At some point in our highly filtered and edited lives we have become convinced that the stripped down versions of ourselves aren't good enough.
That was the entire point of starting a blog - my life is wonderfully out of control. I mess up on a regular basis, I embarrass myself nearly every single day of my life, I don't like the way my clothes fit, I say stupid things, I self-sabotage, I psych myself out and let other people define my limits, I look to others to validate my worth, I don't always do the right thing ... etc.
I'm a complete shit show on a certain level.
And that's entirely OKAY because that's entirely who I am. I also happen to really like who I am.
I created the blog as a creative outlet but I also wanted to share aspects of my life that aren't always package nicely and wrapped up with a giant perfect bow. I then became worried about how it would be perceived.
Over the last several months I have come to realize that's neither my concern nor something I can control. I write for myself and at the end of the day, I have no interest in writing fiction.
I know this makes it seem like I'm about to share an incredibly salacious story outlining the last few months of my life, I'm not. I have been trying to perfect my macaron recipe which is no less awesome, I might add.
Outside of making more macarons than any one household should ever have on hand, I have really been working on myself on several levels and even though there are moments where my progress gets lost amongst work and other people and their lives and issues, I am really proud of how I have been able to refocus myself on the things that matter the most to me.
I gave a presentation at work this past week on a project that has been faced with more issues and challenges than any other project I have ever worked on and I framed my presentation by saying that we didn't come this far just to come this far. Yeah a shit ton of work has been done but really that was laying the foundation for what has yet to come.
I sort of feel that way about my life and focusing on my personal progress. Projects are easy right? You have requirements / scope / a roadmap - stay on that road. Deliver what you say you will. Don't let anyone change that scope - protect it.
We should certainly do more for ourselves than we would for a work deliverable. Just like a work deliverable - there will always be critics and people who want more - that's okay. Be proud of your efforts in whatever form they take! Celebrate milestones and take your wins where you can as it's important to stop and appreciate progress not just fixate on what you think the end product will be. Restated: don't fixate on what others think the end product will be.