No Approvals Needed
For Christmas someone gave Scott a Zen Calendar and I found it on a counter and took it. This thing turned out to be an absolute goldmine. So thanks to whomever didn't give me a present, I LOVE it so very much.
Oh man - I just found out that was not a present for Scott - it was a gift for Finn. I stole a Christmas present from my child. I'm sure Finn would have loved it, if he had known about it.
((best present ever))
I feel like I would have written these after many glasses of wine and an extraordinary amount of sleep depravation. Today: "I like a view but I like to sit with my back to it" - why would you do that? That was written by Gertrude Stein by the way ... and it makes no sense to me.
While many seem like they were written by someone who moonlights as the content editor over at "Demotivational Posters" every so often I come across one that resonates with me on such a profound level.
This happened to be the first of many. Until I hit my 40's I was absolute consumed with the approval of others. It was something that I chased after on a nonstop basis. The thought of disappointing someone gnawed at me and would linger in my thoughts for all eternity - just reliving over and over again the moment I embarrassed myself or let someone down.
Ridiculous moments just stuck on a never ending loop playing over and over again in my mind. It was a fairly terrible way to live as other people's opinions became more important than my own. Other people's voice became louder and more influential than my own.
It wasn't until I had enough distance and enough time alone with my thoughts to really begin to shift which narrative I listened to. Which me was my most authentic? I had no idea really because historically speaking I based my decisions on what I thought other people wanted me to do.
I think, somewhere along the way, I realized that if I'm living my life based on what someone else wants, then I'm really not living MY life at all.
If you're like me - stop apologizing for who you are and certainly stop seeking approval that who you are is acceptable. It is ...
I'm not sure how I have changed so much over these last few years but I have. I feel different, I look different, I feel at ease, my stress is at an all time low and I'm finding joy in just being exactly who I am at this point in time.
It also made me realize how fun it is to just be ... to just exist. The people who are drawn to that - to me as my most authentic self are the people who should be in my life and they are. It's effortless.
So if you find yourself scrambling for one person's approval in particular, maybe it's time to ask why that is. What makes how they see you more important than how you see yourself?
Nothing. Nothing does.
Get that tattoo, find a new job, cut your hair, become an artist, do something new or unexpected, find a path you love, start a blog that no one reads (there is so much freedom in that),surround yourself with those that bring you happiness ... do whatever it is you want to do for no other reason than you want to.
Tip: if anyone gives your child a Zen Calendar - just take it ... 1. they won't notice and 2. you may find someone put pen to paper and expressed exactly how you're feeling and that's a pretty amazing thing.
3/17/2019 09:17:18 am
i read your blog and it resonates.....
10/14/2022 01:08:54 am
American ago value nature. Little sister mouth act.
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