Project Me - 4 Months In

So I stated this effort about 4 months ago where my only objective was to just be cool as hell to myself.

That's me <-- when this effort kicked off.  That was after my first self-administered quarantine haircut and I'd like to point out I kicked ass.

My plan really was just focused on silencing a sometimes not so nice inner voice that tends to be critical towards myself and I was going to give myself permission to just be. 

Be what you ask?  I had no idea really - just exist without restrictions I suppose. 

And THAT was the question I asked myself.

What would happen if I were to loosen the restrictions on myself and allowed myself to be just happy?  

Forget the calorie counting, forget getting up at 5 am every day, forget weighing myself every morning, forget dissecting everything I say or presentation I give, forget being overly critical - just a concentrated effort to chill to F out ... 

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and I did ... 

4 months in - I have lost nearly 15 lbs by not counting calories, I have been indulging when I feel like it, going to bed "past my bed time", sleeping in on the weekends, not working 15 hour days every single day of the week, sitting in my garden, taking calls from my hanging chair, FaceTime'ing friends and spending the evenings working on my pilates practice, learning origami (which straight up sucks) and watching mindless tv or leafing through baking cookbooks.

Additionally I have limited my exposure to social media and news sites ... I'm informed but not overly informed and refuse to be bombarded with all the political discord.

On top of all this, I feel genuinely happy.  It's not like I wasn't happy before but I certainly was preoccupied with all sorts of rules and constraints.  

I turned 47 in early July ... FORTY SEVEN ... The photo above is my super professional head shot for LinkedIn and such - but the photo is completely untouched and unfiltered (although we did change the background from gray to black).  It helps I have make up on and was having a good hair day but the two photos are remarkably different for other reasons:

In the second photo, my skin is brighter, my eyes a bit shinier, my face certainly thinner but I think the biggest difference is that the second photo I seem more at ease.  That's the photo of someone happy.  I also spent the day before this photo swinging in my hanging chair drinking champagne which certainly helps with my overall satisfaction score.

All this aside, there is so much going on - I think I will soon be faced with some big decisions that won't be entirely easy but I'm going to keep focusing on my family, friends, health and happiness and trust I will make the best decisions and end up where I'm supposed to be.   As long as I stay chill I can effectively manage the change.  I'm a change management powerhouse, of note.  

I can't wait to check in, in another 4 months ... I honestly might just be a little ball of light by then. 

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