Tempest In A Teacup

I was having dinner with a girlfriend the other evening, one that I hadn't seen in many months.  As we were catching up, it struck me how many "new" things I have incorporated into my life recently for no other reason than they sounded fun or interesting to me.

At 45, I have my blog, play drums, am figure skating again, working on my pilates practice and am becoming healthier and stronger than I was in my earlier years.  It's a revolt of sorts and it's wildly fun.

By why now - why in my midlife all the changes? We talked about the midlife "crisis" being an incredibly real phase but that seems like such a negative place to be in one's life.  Why a crisis?  Why not just another step in our evolution?  Why is it so often seen as a negative thing?

Being a relentless pursuer of useless information - I went to my Single Source of Truth - Google.

I googled the definition of a midlife crisis.  For men it seems fairly exciting: New sports cars, younger friends, lovely younger woman on their arm, becoming hyper focused on their physique, reigniting hobbies and passions.  Not so much as crisis, in my mind. Then I read the symptoms of a Female Midlife Crisis:

• Change in eating habits.
• Change in sleeping habits, fatigue.
• Feelings of pessimism or hopelessness.
• Restlessness, anxiety or irritability.
• Feeling of guilt, helplessness or worthlessness.
  

That straight up sucks.  This certainly sound like a crisis.  Why is that?  Why do woman collapse like a soufflé as we age and men kick off a second more exciting chapter?

As I approached my mid-40's I found it to be something I was looking forward to.  Something to embrace - a reflection of a certain amount of freedom that I didn't have in my earlier years.  An abandoning of self consciousness, self doubt, apologizing for who I am, what I want, what I think or believe ... 

I am (re)discovering things that I loved as a child (playing music, figure skating),  focusing on my heath (loving KETO), finding a healthy work life balance, being fully present as a mother,  improving myself in ways that are hard to properly articulate and am finding happiness and peace in my soul.  But most importantly its the realization is that we don't have to live such a prescriptive life.

I think it's more of a midlife transformation unless you rely on Google ... 

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