The Tough Get Going.
I know the intended meaning of this was a rallying cry for the strong. Your life may have just full blown crapped the bed BUT that won't stop us - GET UP and GET TO WORK. BE AMAZING!!!
Really at this point in my life I just want to know where they are going. Is there a rendezvous point? Do you need to know a secret word? Can I come?
The last many (many ... many) months have been a bit topsy turvy for me - just a lot of weirdness at work which then seeps into weirdness in my day to day life which then impacts most everything.
I have a pretty healthy weird baseline so I would consider this weirdness to be especially weird and not in a wonderfully weird way.
Sometimes weird is just weird.
Work has been really stressful as of late and not even because my job is hard or I work impossible hours because it's not and I don't ... I have a great job.
Not only is my job great, my current manager is easily my favorite to date, for the first time ever I report into someone who mentors me which is the most amazing thing ever. I have done what I do for 25 years and I'm really really good at it but he's teaching me so much that I have become (am becoming) an AMAZING resource under his guidance.
What's the problem right? The problem is, my gut is telling me I need to go / something is wrong. My gut is NEVER wrong about these things ... not ever.
I'm like the kid from the 6th sense but instead of dead people I see sinking ships.
There's a maxim amongst sailors regarding rats and sinking ships "...before the vessel is to be lost the rats will desert her. ... This the rats are abandoning the sinking ship in all quarters."
Some how those little guys just know. Sitting around eating their cheese, doing whatever it is that rat friends do and at some point, something will happen and one of them will peek over their little snack and say "do you feel that ...". That’s Me!!
The captain is cheering everyone on talking about how strong the ship is and how true it sails and I'm in the corner with my bags packed & my little sniffer in the air trying to determine how close the shore is.
But in this case, I want so so badly for our ship to sail true that I refuse to listen to my gut. I want so badly to do something amazing for a company I believe in while working for someone I really respect that I'm locking all doubt and concern away ...
I'd like to reiterate that my gut is never ... ever ... not ever ... wrong. I'm just not sure what to do quite honestly.
-----2 Months Later-----
This is the point where I stood up and just sort of wandered away from my computer.
I found myself pulled into so so many directions that I feel like I live in a black hole - I have prime real estate on the event horizon and I have no concept of time. Life goes by at the at the speed of light, it seems.
Let me just tell you - my gut was not wrong. I have taken a good bit of time off for the holidays and am surveying the landscape of possibility at the moment.
New Year / New Options!!
So I'm weighing my options ... fantasizing about buying a farm and knitting jumpers for baby goats while drinking wine and spending my mornings at yoga.
Until that happens - I'm going to continue to kick ass in my current role, bringing positivity and my "can do" attitude into 2020. This is the year of great things and many healthy and much needed changes.
The good news is that all the work related weirdness isn't seeping into my personal life any longer - I think I have existed in this heightened start of weird that I have settled into it and am now flowing like water adapting and remaining open to whatever the day brings.